I was not in a very good mood and all evening long about everything Ty was saying was getting on my nerves. We were with good friends that we do not get to see very often and Ty was loving every minute of it. He was cracking jokes, making tacky remarks and being a bit obnoxious. It was SO annoying me.
We were in the car heading home and I was stewing. I entered a battle in my head as to whether I should say anything or not. I reasoned with my grumpy, irritated self that I would want him to tell me if I had been socially awkward. I mean if I did not tell him, who would. I could feel my blood pressure rising by the second.
We had taught many times on the danger of "gunny sacking"..... letting things build up and not dealing with issues as they happen. I certainly did not want to be a gunny sacker. Something needed to be said and I was the one to say it. So, unfortunately I opened my BIG mouth and began to tell my husband how annoying he had been. I gave specific examples from the evening and even referred to other times when he had, in my opinion, said things he should not have said.
So now here I was saying things to him that should not be said. At least not said at that moment in the way I was saying them. I was mad and it felt good to make him feel bad. I am not proud of how I acted at all. I knew better and yet I launched.
My life verse as it relates to marriage is Proverbs 14:1 "A wise woman builds her house and a foolish one tears it down with her own hands." There was nothing wise about my actions that night. I am sorry to say I was tearing my husband down. I was mad and I did not control myself.
If I did in fact have things to say to him that I felt needed to be said I know better than to say it when I am mad and letting myself unleash my anger onto my husband. Needless to say it led to a BIG FAT FIGHT. It was not completely resolved for a couple of days. I had to humble myself and own my bad attitude and unkind words. I was now more mad at me than I ever was at Ty. I asked Ty and The Lord to forgive me and then I had to walk in the forgiveness extended to me. It was not easy. We had to be intentional and work hard to restore our oneness.
This all happened over a month ago and we have completely moved on. I sure hope the next time I am mad or frustrated with my husband I keep my big mouth shut at least until I get my composure and know that what I am about to say will build him up and not tear him down. I am so thankful for a forgiving husband.