Last Friday night Ty and I hosted another Hope Filled Marriage Workshop. It was absolutely thrilling to see over 100 folks show up who wanted to spend an evening learning and working to have a better marriage. Our topic was SEX which always seems to help in getting couples to show up!!!! In my next few blogs I want to give you some highlights of what we shared with our group.
I will start by saying that a healthy sex life is what I call "The Tap Root" of a healthy marriage. If your sex life is not healthy and vibrant, your marriage is not great. Our physical intimacy in marriage is what bonds our hearts and souls together. It is as important as breathing. That may sound dramatic but I am completely serious.
We shared how imperative it is for husbands and wives to appreciate their differences and understand what their spouse needs in this area. Today I want to share what it is that women need in order to respond sexually to their husbands. The following excerpt is from the book Red Hot Monogamy by Bill and Pam Ferrell.
To get your wife’s body to respond in sexual ecstasy, you need to touch
her heart. God wired her in such a
way that she brings everything in her life to bed with her.
When you deliver the message that you care about everything in her world,
she develops an insatiable desire for you.
She is wired to process life continually.
She cannot turn the thought process off, and she desperately hopes the
complex layers of her experience do not turn you off.
When you take the time to listen to her, she has an opportunity to put
her inner stirrings in order.
Romance is what will connect you to her heart and a smart husband will
become a student of his wife. Every
women is different in what she thinks is romantic.
The Ferrells also added:
The amount of sex a man gets in the bedroom is directly related to how
helpful and attentive he is in all the other rooms of the house.
Now I realize that it is women who read my blog for the most part. So ladies, in a loving manner, and at the right time, we have to help our husbands understand this important dynamic. Our men are wired so differently than us and can be "READY TO RUMBLE" so to speak, at that drop of a hat!!
I always say, the sun and the moon and the stars all need to line up for me to have the optimum experience. This is so not true of our men. I jokingly say, he could have just been fired from his job, gotten into a car accident on the way home and find the house on fire when he arrives and STILL be able to tango!!! OK, that is a little bit of an exaggeration but the point is, he can compartmentalize life and we as women do not. Everything is connected to everything.
I hope you will take the time to discuss this with your spouse and give him the opportunity to weigh in. Just starting the conversation is a great beginning to enhancing your sex life. Remember a healthy marriage takes continual tending and I recommend starting with the topic of sex. And what better time to do that than on your Valentines Day Date this weekend. How about saying, "Honey how would you rate our sex life and what could we do to kick it up a notch?"
Happy Valentines Day my friends!!!