Ty and I were so blessed by their teachable hearts and blown away by their open, honest questions and comments. One of the topics we discusses was "fidelity fences". We define fidelity fences as "agreed upon boundaries and guidelines to protect the marriage from infidelity." We did a brief teaching on this subject and then shared with the group the fidelity fences we have set in place. Here are a few:
>No business meetings or travel alone with someone of the opposite sex.
>Never confiding in someone of the opposite sex about personal matters, especially related
to our marriage.
> Not developing a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex that does not include our
>Not cultivating sexual thoughts or fantasies regarding someone of the opposite sex.
>Never attend a class reunion alone!
>Facebook wisdom.... not friending those who have been a part of your past unhealthy relationships.
Not coaching, mentoring or counseling someone of the opposite sex.
Once we shared our fidelity fences we gave the couples time to work on their own fidelity fences. What we realized is that many couples have never talked about this. We had couples saying how surprised they were with what their spouse shared with them. Situations that had made them feel uncomfortable in this area.
That is what we love about doing these workshops. We like to think the material we present is helpful, but honestly it is the dialogue between the couple that is so vital to these events. Sometimes it is what we are NOT TALKING ABOUT as a couple that is most critical. We were so proud of these couples who came out and were willing to do the hard work and have the hard conversations. What an honor to be able to invest in marriages!!!
What about you? Is this a conversation you and your spouse have broached? If you are not married, it is not too soon to be thinking into what boundaries you want to set for your future marriage relationship. Take some time to think into this. The strength of your current and future marriage (if you are currently single), depends on it!!!