You are invited to join us for our next HFM workshop on Saturday August 23rd. SAVE THE DATE NOW!!!!
This time our topic was mindsets that mess with your marriage. In this blog and my next few, I will give you the highlights of the workshop.
♥ Unhealthy Mindset #1- Marriage is a Contract
♥ Healthy Mindset #1 - Marriage is a Covenant
A Covenant vs. Contract Marriage:
Covenant: a solemn agreement that binds parties together in permanent defined relationships
3 Parts of Covenant:
1. Promise/oath- this would be your wedding vows
2. Seal and a Sign- seal in marriage is sexual intimacy
- surrenders rights and assumes
- destroys selfishness
- prepares us for difficulty and we should plan on it
- creates a spirit of safety and trust
so you can open your hearts to each other
- says I will never leave you (desert you) or forsake you (turn your heart away) strangers living together…checked out.
Contract- limits my responsibilities and protects my rights
- this might not work and if not I do not want to lose my stuff
- this says I’ll see how things go
The point here is that we live in a disposable society. Instead of fixing broken things we just go buy new ones. I know I have been guilty of that myself. Now it is one thing if what you are throwing out is a toaster and quite another if it is your marriage.
I am so grateful that when Ty and I were dating and beginning to get serious he said to me, "If we decide to get married I want you to know that divorce will never, ever be an option." That moment a stake was driven into the ground and the "D word" has since then not been a part of our marriage vocabulary. The mindset of our culture can pollute our thinking so subtly. The divorce rate is currently above 50%. That means today a marriage has less than a 50/50 chance of making it.
The Covenant vs Contract notes above came from a teaching I listened to by Jimmy Evans. He talked about how in Covenant we give up our rights and in Contract we want to protect our rights. Someone who is out for themselves first and foremost will not make a great marriage partner. You see, marriage is all about dying to your rights and serving the other person. It is about putting your spouses needs first and being willing to compromise.
My definition of love is.... how much are you willing to NOT get your way, or be right. Now that is LOVE!!! Next blog I will talk about love being a verb, not a noun. See you then!!